Letter: My type of love

It’s quite difficult to describe but in the simplest manner, self-love is being kind to yourself. Loving yourself was a journey.  It is. Though we don’t necessarily hate ourselves but often dislike ourselves from time-to-time. Whenever I hear people say “I hate myself”, I always think they exaggerate too much. Now, here me out. If they truly hated being them, they wouldn’t feed themselves when they’re hungry or sleep when they’re tired. They wouldn’t give themselves any reason to live. Hate is a powerful word. We should never say it lightly.

“I hate being me.” When I hear those words, all I hear is your dislike of your flaws, mistakes, shortcomings, and insecurities. I see how focused you are on the negative side of your life. Darling, you are more than that. The glass is also half full. If you dislike your attitude then change it. If you hate your disposition, work hard to change it. In this world, the only thing you can control is what you say and do. That is it. And I tell you, that is more than enough. Stop making excuses. You own your life. It’s time for you to take charge.

I do have a confession to make. I was once a pessimist. If you’d ask me what was my favorite happy memory, I wouldn’t know because I didn’t have one. But if you ask me about my most painful past, I have a ton. We’d be talking all day. You see, all I focused on was the bad things that happened and not the good ones. Once I realized my bias, I knew I had to change.

This is what I did. I wrote down what I don’t like about myself or in my life and turned it into love by finding the silver linings. I wrote down what I hate and write what it can offer me. From time-to-time, I read it to remind myself and be filled with love once again.

In a piece of paper, this is what I wrote.

  • I love being weak because I know I can be strong.
  • I love being imperfect because I can cling to the almighty, compassionate and merciful God and know that He still loves me.
  • I love being insecure because it makes me strive to be better.
  • I love my past mistakes because I learned a lot from them.
  • I love the challenges that I face because it makes my life exciting and exhilarating.
  • I love feeling so small in this big world because when I stand in front of God, He does not make me feel as such.
  • I love the struggles that I have because it makes an awesome story to tell someday.
  • I love my past because I am who I am now because of it.
  • I love having flaws because they make my life fun and colorful than being “perfect”  and be dull and boring.
  • I love being fickle-minded because it gives me enough time to know what I truly want.
  • I love not knowing about everything because it gives me room to wonder.
  • I love failing because I know it is a lesson in disguise.
  • I love being me because I can be anyone I want to be.

Please take note, friend, that just because I wrote “love” doesn’t mean I allow myself to be that way or fail, for example. I wrote “love” to make me feel love and acceptance over those things. Writing it down in the present tense which allows me to feel that I actually do love what I used to don’t.

This is what I did. I made sure to change my vocabulary, from hate to love, so that my negative side would diminish and all that would be left are love and positivity. I made sure that my heart is only filled with love. So that when I look in the mirror, I don’t look at myself with disgust but with love and like. I smile and remind myself of everything that I love about myself.

It was this sudden realization helped me fully love myself. A love that has compassion, patience, kindness and not easily angered. If you already love yourself in that way, then I’m so glad that you do. But if you still have that hint of dislike or “hate” then I do encourage you to do the same. Write down what you hate or dislike about yourself and change the word hate to love. It is very therapeutic. Let us become a better version of ourselves by disposing of all the hate and be just love itself.

I pray that you do. We all do.

 

With love,

Zyra

 

 

 

 

 

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