a letter to my Sea lover

Dear sea lover, I heard you’ve been out at sea for a long time. Was it five years when we bid farewell? It was at the docks. I remember it all too well. I wish I didn’t. I begged you to stay but you were stubborn as ever. I knew you wouldn’t listen but I had to try. You loved the sea. So much, that you left me here. I should have asked you to take me with you. I was afraid, I guess because I might be a nuisance to you. I was afraid to be the one that holds you back. I do hope that all is well. Have achieved your dream? Have you become who you want to be?

You have been at sea quite a long time. I miss all the times we’d spend together. I miss laying on the field and talking about our dreams. Or should I say your dreams? That was all you talked about. I could never blame you for being ambitious. That was one of the things I love about you though I miss you terribly. When you left, I felt so lost. It was only then I realize, I was always following you. Wherever you went, I followed. I tried to help. I was totally dependent on you. The sea was the only place I could not follow. “It’s too dangerous”, your voice keeps ringing in my ear.

Five years have passed. I wrote this to let you know that I have changed. A lot has happened. When you left, I was like a wandering ghost. I did not know where to go. Instead of waiting, which my heart said I should, I moved forward. A year later after you left, I went on with my life. I discovered so many things about myself that I never knew. It made me thankful that you did leave. Losing you forced me to become who I am meant to be. Being alone was what I needed. I was able to make an orphanage home. There are about fifty kids living here. I help the wandering and lost. I made them a home – a place where they feel safe. Soon, I plan to make it a school. I plan to make it soonest. I wish you could see it. The smiles of these children healed me from my loneliness. They helped me as I have helped them.

Gratitude, my love, is the one thing I feel for you. Though I was lost when you left, I was forced to move forward. Your choice to pursue your dreams over me was indeed agonizing but it was also blessing in disguise. I am so happy now. I hope you are too. I also hope to see you one day, fulfilled and joyous.

 

All my love,

Ella

 

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